


The best friend and the Shrieking Shack

by HARRYMALFOY



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:24:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HARRYMALFOY/pseuds/HARRYMALFOY
Summary: A werewolf is in love with a dog. A dog is in love with a werewolf. They don't dare to tell each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soo fluffy.

**Chapter 1: The first night**

Before Remus realised, what happened, the door slammed open and James stumbled in and immediately dropped the whole stuff to the floor.  
  
"What the fuck is going on?", he asked loudly and stormed back out, slamming the door behind himself.

Four days earlier:  
It was late at night and full moon was approaching. Like so many times, Remus simply couldn't sleep, so he sneaked over to the bed next to his, where Sirius was sleeping peacefully. His rosy lips were slightly apart and he breathed in and out, his chest rising and falling steadily. Soft black curls fell over his cheeks and his eyes were shut. Sirius still wore his eyeliner from the day before, he had forgotten to wash it down. Remus often sat next to Sirius's bed and watched him sleeping, it somehow comforted him.  
  
Since two years Remus destroyed himself with keeping his love for Sirius a secret. He tried to forget it so often, but it was impossible. Not with Sirius around him all the time, not with Sirius touching him all the time, not with Sirius smiling at him all the time. And really, Sirius's smile was the hottest thing Remus knew. And it was not easy to concentrate in class, no matter how desperately Remus tried it, when Sirius sat next to him and laughed with James over some silly joke or when Sirius sat there, his head propped up on one hand and he smiled at Remus. It was distracting, honestly! And every time Sirius did so, Remus wanted to cry and kiss his whole face, but he couldn't. There was no way he could ever. Sirius was his very best friend. Sirius was his everything. He couldn't lose him by doing silly things like kissing him or confessing his love.  
Sirius's eyelids twitched and Remus slid back on the floor. Sirius sighed loudly and blinked.

"Moony?", he asked quietly and looked up.  
  
Remus decided he didn't have a chance to hide, so he slid back to the bed and looked at Sirius. His grey eyes found Remus' brown ones in the dark.  
  
"What's wrong?", Sirius asked and looked troubled.  
  
Remus smiled. He loved it when Sirius cared too much about him than he actually should.  
  
"Nothing.", Remus said. _Everything_!, he thought. Bloody everything! Why couldn't he just tell Sirius the truth? Merlin, he was such a coward!  
"I just can't sleep."  
  
"Why?", Sirius asked and finally sat up completely, "Bad dreams?"  
  
Remus had had bad dreams so many times and sat down next to Sirius's bed, normally he woke Sirius up, sometimes he just sat there and watched him sleeping, what calmed him down extremely, but today it wasn't a dream.  
  
"No.", Remus said, "I simply cant sleep. I think I've slept three hours or so and that was it."  
  
Sirius looked at Remus, his eyes full of trouble and smiled.  
  
"What?", Remus asked.  
  
Sirius didn't answer. He lifted his blanket and Remus slipped inside his bed. He smiled.  
  
"Thanks.", Remus whispered.  
  
Sirius smiled and wrapped the whole blanket around Remus.  
  
"Aren't you cold?", Remus asked and turned around to look at Sirius.  
  
"Nope.", Sirius answered and shook his head, "As long as you are warm."  
  
Remus felt hot and his cheeks were burning, even though it was just Sirius being friendly and being Remus' _friend_. Remus sighed and felt Sirius moving beside him. Remus tuned his head around, to find Sirius rolling to his side and propping his head on one hand and looked at Remus. He obviously hadn't notice Remus looking at him. Remus turned back around and smiled.  
  
Sirius sometimes could be so fucking cute and it made it even harder not to kiss him. Fucking cute Sirius! Why couldn't he be ugly and uncool and unfriendly? That would make it easiest. But no, he had to wear this hot eyeliner and these cool punk rock jeans and super cool shirts from all the Muggle bands Remus fancied, which was really cute because Sirius always wanted Remus to give him shirts of bands he liked for his birthday. And he had to be so popular, like every girl in the school wanted to date him or had dreams about him or got really annoyed when he didn't smile at her during dinner or class. But Remus got really annoyed because Sirius _did_ smile at him during dinner and class. And of course, Sirius was super friendly to Remus. Because Remus was Sirius's friend, just like James.  
  
But Sirius was sometimes really rude to James and picked at him sometimes, but he was always nice to Remus. Always. He knew Remus didn't like it when he and Sirius were fighting or arguing or rude to each other. And Sirius was not once rude to Remus. Could it be possible that- no. That was absolutely ridiculous. Sirius couldn't be in love with Remus as well. That was absolutely impossible! No way. Remus sighed once more and Sirius moved harder than he had before. One second later, his head popped up and Remus laughed quietly.  
  
"Are you alright?", Sirius asked worried, "Because you sighed so sadly."  
  
Remus nodded.

"I'm alright.", he said.  
  
"Really? You know you can tell me everything.", Sirius said.  
  
Remus turned around and looked at Sirius.

"Not this time.", he said and forced a smile.  
  
Sirius sat up and so did Remus.

"Why not? What's wrong, Moony?", Sirius asked.  
  
"It's just... there's someone I like and I know they don't like me back.", Remus said and Sirius face fell at once.  
  
"Oh.", he said and sounded somehow disappointed, "Well, maybe they do like you back but you just don't want to realise it."  
  
"What do you think could be the signs they like me back?", Remus asked and looked at his hands.  
  
"Well, firstly when they tell you.", Sirius smiled.

Remus laughed.  
  
"Thanks.", he said sarcastically.  
  
Sirius smiled.

"I'm sorry, Moony, but I can't really help you there. I really don't know."  
  
Remus nodded.

"I know you don't. But thank you.", he said.  
  
"Now sleep, the next days aren't going to be too easy for you.", Sirius said and lay back down.  
  
Remus nodded again and lay down as well. Great. Not even Sirius himself could help Remus. So Remus would suffer in silence. For ever. Okay, maybe he was dramatizing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: I won't leave you alone**

"Pst, Padfood. Pst, Padfood.", James whispered.  
  
Sirius opened his eyes and stared at James.  
  
"Prongs, what do you want?", he asked and rolled his eyes.  
  
"Comfortable night?", James asked with a smirk.  
  
"Piss off.", Sirius said and closed the curtains.  
  
The night had been absolutely _not_ comfortable. Remus had had the blanket all night and Sirius was ass cold and he had given Remus most of the bed, so he had clearly enough space. But Sirius didn't matter as long as Remus was right next to him and as long as Remus was comfortable. Sirius didn't want to admit it, sometimes not even to himself, that he was in love with Remus. It was strange though. How could he do something like that? And Remus was so damn oblivious! And now he liked someone else and Sirius absolutely had no chance. Remus was so sweet all the time and Sirius just felt home with him, no matter where they wer e. Even class was always enjoyable with Remus right next to him.

Sirius stopped thinking and froze. If James had woken Remus up, he was going to pay for it! Sirius slowly moved his head to look at Remus. His face looked troubled, his eyes were still closed and he moved uncomfortably. Sirius immediately understood that Remus had another bad dream. He always had bad dreams and then he came to Sirius and told Sirius about them and then he felt better. Remus opened his mouth, as though he wanted to say something, but nothing but hot air came out. Sirius couldn't see him like this and tried to wake him up.  
  
"Moony. Hey, I'm here. I'm here.", he whispered and pulled his arm around Remus' shoulder.  
  
He shook Remus gently. Remus opened his eyes and breathed heavily. He looked at Sirius and his eyes filled with water.  
  
"Hey, it's alright. I'm here.", Sirius said quietly and grabbed Remus tighter.  
  
Remus buried his head in Sirius's shoulder and sobbed. Sirius rubbed Remus' back.  
  
"Moony, don't cry.", he whispered.  
  
Remus looked at him and wiped away his tears and smiled.  
  
"I don't like you when you're sad. I like you when you laugh.", Sirius smiled, "Wanna see something funny?"  
  
Remus nodded and sniffed. Sirius took of his pyjama bottoms and pulled them over his head. He pulled a face and Remus laughed.  
  
"That's ridiculous, Padfoot.", he laughed.  
  
Sirius laughed as well and they stood up. Peter came out of the bathroom. He didn't mind that Remus and Sirius slept in one bed, it had happened many times before, but he minded the pyjama on Sirius's head and laughed.  
  
"I said it is ridiculous.", Remus said and couldn't stop laughing.  
  
"You know what? I'm going to wear it the whole day if you can laugh about it.", Sirius grinned.  
  
"Don't. Everybody will think you are mad.", Remus said and had to force back a laugh.  
  
"Nope. As long as you can laugh.", Sirius said happily.  
  
James opened the door to their dorm and stopped in mid-track. Everyone knew in this room was never something normal happening, but this time, it topped everything. James found a Sirius, who grinned satisfied with his pyjama on his _head_ , a Peter who was red in the face because he laughed to much, and a Remus who sat on his bed and held his stomach and laughed as well. James burst out laughing.  
  
"You're mental!", he laughed.  
  
"I'm not.", Sirius grinned.  
  
James laughed and pulled down the pyjama from Sirius's head.  
  
"Hey, give my laugh machine back!", Sirius laughed and chased James around the room.  
  
"Hey, boys.", Peter said and James and Sirius stopped, "It's already late. We have to go to breakfast."  
  
Remus checked his watch.  
  
"Damn it, he's right. Hurry!", he said and jumped up.  
  
They got dressed in record time. Remus and Peter stood in front of the mirror and brushed their teeth, while Sirius and James sung a duet with their toothbrushes.  
  
"Padfoot, Prongs, hurry up now!", Remus said and shook his head laughing.  
  
Sirius and James sung their Grande finale and danced into the bathroom, where they spit out and danced in front of the mirror. Peter laughed. James didn't even think of combing his hair, but Sirius stood there, his enchanted comb in his black hair and he smiled at Remus in the mirror.

Remus looked as adorable as ever. His school robes always were straight and perfect and just so _Remus_. He had his books under his arm. Sirius didn't take care of his hair, he just stared into the mirror and watched Remus, who smiled sadly. He catched Remus looking back at him for a second.  
  
"Sirius, hurry up.", Remus said.  
  
Sirius nodded and dropped the comb. He jumped out of the bathroom and the four of them walked down into the Great Hall. The four house tables were already filled with many students. The Marauders sat down on their Gryffindor table and Peter started eating at once. Sirius laughed and took some food himself.  
  
"Did you guys practice for Apparating?", Remus asked after a while.  
  
"Damn it, today is another lesson?", James asked and clapped his palm to his forehead.  
  
"Of course, Prongs. There is not only one lesson.", Remus laughed.  
  
Sirius smiled and looked at Peter.  
  
"Did you practice?", he asked.  
  
Peter looked up.  
  
"What? Oh, yes, once.", he answered and turned back to his second sandwich.  
  
"And you, Pads?", James asked.  
  
Sirius raised one eyebrow and smirked. James laughed.

"Of course you did not.", he said.  
  
Remus sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Are you alright?", Sirius asked worried.  
  
Why couldn't he hold himself back? Merlin, Remus only sighed. It doesn't automatically mean he's sick. Remus smiled.  
  
"Just a bit tired.", he said.  
  
"Do you think you come to Apparating today?", Peter asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Moony, you really shouldn't go. You've been best in the last lesson already, I don't think you will miss anything today.", James said.  
  
"Yeah. You should rather go and sleep a bit.", Sirius suggested.  
  
He knew he would miss Remus when he didn't attend any class, but it was the best for Remus. Full moon was there in two days and he needed to rest. Remus nodded slowly.  
  
"You're probably right.", he said.  
  
"Of course I'm right. I'm always right.", Sirius grinned.  
  
Remus laughed and they finished breakfast.  
First lesson was History of Magic - The most boring subject ever. Next to Remus it was not that bad, but still. And James kept Sirius's good mood as well. But today, Sirius was worried about Remus. He seemed so down the whole time. And then, Sirius had an idea. He enchanted a small piece of paper, so it was folded into trousers and he put the small paper-trousers on the top of his finger and painted with his quill a face and hair for his finger.  
  
"Moony. Pst, Moony.", Sirius whispered and tugged at Remus' sleeve.  
  
"What?", Remus asked and Sirius waved his finger in front of Remus.  
  
Remus' eyes watered and his cheeks turned red and he tried to hold back his laugh. Sirius grinned. He made it to his personal mission to keep Remus in a good mood today. Remus snickered.  
  
"Sirius, I need to concentrate.", he whispered.  
  
"You don't.", Sirius said.  
  
"I do. Now pay attention.", Remus answered, but smiled.  
  
Sirius smiled too and turned to James.  
  
"Look.", Sirius said and showed James his finger.  
  
James laughed and their teacher stared at them.  
  
"Mr Potter, Mr Black, have you paid attention to what I just said?", she asked.  
  
"Yes.", Sirius lied quickly.  
  
"And what exactly was so funny about that?", the teacher asked.  
  
Sirius looked at James and shrugged.  
  
"If you disturb my lesson again, I-"  
  
Someone knocked at the door.  
  
"Excuse me.", Professor McGonnagal said and stuck her head inside, "May I borrow Mr Potter, Mr Lupin, Mr Black and Mr Pettigrew for a second?", she asked.  
  
The other teacher looked at the four boys and nodded wordlessly. Remus looked at Sirius and they followed McGonnagal outside.  
  
"In my office. Now.", McGonnagal said sternly.  
  
"What have we done?", Remus asked quietly and looked from Sirius to James to Peter.  
  
"I think it's about the waterbombs we enchanted to fly in mid-air in nearly ever corridor and we said to Peeves he should pop them when students are coming.", James whispered.  
  
Remus laughed and shook his head.  
  
"You're impossible.", he smiled.  
  
"That was so much fun!", Peter laughed.  
  
The professer opened the door to her office and led the four boys in.  
  
"Sit.", she said.

The boys obliged at once and sat down on the four chairs, that stood there all the time, because the Marauders visited McGonnagal's office at least three times a week - when they had a good week. McGonnagal sat down, folded her hands on her desk and sighed. She looked at the boys.  
  
"So we see each other again.", she said and shook her head, "I suggest you know why."  
  
Remus nodded and Peter gulped. James and Sirius smirked at each other and gave a low-five.  
  
"Can you tell me what you were thinking?", McGonnagal asked.  
  
"You know, Professor, we never meant to-"  
  
"Minnie.", James cut Remus off, "This was a master prank."  
  
McGonnagal shook her head.  
  
"Mr Potter-", she said.  
  
"Professor, it was only me, Peter and James. Remus had nothing to do with it. Don't blame him.", Sirius blurted out.  
  
James and Peter looked at Sirius. Sirius looked at Remus and found him smiling at the floor. He looked up and Sirius found his hazel eyes and a strange flicker crossed them. Sirius furrowed his brow and looked at Professor McGonnagal.  
  
"Mr Lupin. Is that true?", she asked.  
  
Remus looked at Sirius, who nodded slightly.  
  
"Well, Professor, actually-"  
  
"It's completely true.", Peter said.  
  
"Yeah, Moony. Don't be so polite. Minnie, I swear, Remus has nothing to do with it.", James said.  
  
The professor nodded.  
  
"Alright. I will see you three in detention tomorrow. Mr Lupin... enjoy yourself without these troublemakers once.  
  
"Professor, I can't go to-"  
  
"Detention - Sirius - is detention. No excuses.", McGonnagal said.  
  
But Sirius couldn't come! Remus needed him. Tomorrow was the day before full moon and that was the worst day for Remus. Sirius couldn't leave him alone on a day like that!

"Professor, I really can't.", Sirius said worried.  
  
"No excuses.", McGonnagal repeated, "Now go back to your class."  
  
Sirius sighed defeated and the four of them left the office. At least they had a free hour now. They climbed through the portrait hole and James let himself fall down in the armchair.  
  
"Sirius, can I talk to you for a second?", Remus asked and seemed nervous.  
  
Sirius looked at him and nodded slowly. What did Remus want? He wasn't angry, was he? Sirius slowly followed Remus upstairs into their dorm room.  
  
"What's wrong?", Sirius asked and now he himself was nervous.  
  
Remus sat down on his bed.  
  
"You didn't have to do this.", he said.  
  
Sirius smiled.  
  
"I know. But I wanted to.", he said and walked over to Remus.  
  
"It's just... were one group. When you three go to detention, I go too.", Remus said and picked at his shirt.  
  
Sirius sat down next to Remus.  
  
"Moony, I want to tell you something.", Sirius said and felt blood shooting into his head.  
  
He couldn't tell Remus about his feelings. Sirius was too much of a coward. He couldn't. Alright, maybe he could. But he would destroy their friendship if Remus didn't feel the same, what he clearly did. Quickly in his head, Sirius made a list of pros and cons. And finally, the cons were more.  
  
"Sirius?", Remus asked and pulled Sirius out of his thoughts.  
  
"Hm? Oh... I wanted to say that I won't go to detention tomorrow.", Sirius said.  
  
"Don't be silly, Padfoot! It's detention. McGonnagal would be so angry."  
  
"I don't care. I'd rather have three weeks detention than leaving you alone on the day before full moon."  
  
"Padfoot, don't.", Remus said, but smiled.  
  
"Don't even try to change my mind. I'm not leaving you alone!", Sirius said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
  
"Thanks.", Remus smiled, "Can you do the thing with your pyjama again?"  
  
Sirius laughed. He stood up and pulled the pyjama bottoms over his head and danced a silly dance. Remus started laughing harder than he had had in a few weeks. Sirius pulled a face and continued dancing.  
  
"Come on, Moony. Dance with me.", Sirius said and pulled Remus up.  
  
Remus laughed and joined in. Together, they danced a stupid dance around the room and laughed loudly. Sirius waved his pyjama on his head and Remus got red in the face of laughing. After a while, James and Peter came upstairs and laughed.  
  
"I had no idea things could go worse than what I saw this morning. Remus, your dancing is so... unique.", James laughed.  
  
Peter laughed too. Sirius pulled the pyjama from his head and threw it on to his bed. He was a bit disappointed that the moment with Remus was over. Remus seemed to enjoy himself even now. He sat on his bed and smiled. Sirius sighed quietly. Of course, Remus wasn't sad that they weren't alone anymore. He wasn't bloody in love with Sirius. Sirius could slap himself now. With a chair. But he didn't. He just threw himself on his bed, buried his face in his pillow and groaned loudly. He heard Remus and the others stop laughing and pushed the pillow to his ears.  
  
"Padfoot?", Peter's muffled voice said.  
  
Sirius groaned in response amd felt a warm hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Sirius, everything okay?", Remus asked.  
  
"No.", Sirius spoke into the pillow, "Can you please leave me alone for a minute?"  
  
The hand vanished and Sirius missed the touch immediately. Seconds later, he heard the door close and looked up. He grabbed his wand from his bedside table, pulled the curtains shut and set a closing and silencing  charm on them. He lay the wand away and frustrated, he pulled down his trousers and gripped his cock. He jerked his hand up and down and up and down and finally came into his hand, but didn't feel less frustrated that he had before. His hand just wasn't enough! Sirius wanted Remus not a stupid hand and no one else! Remus, only Remus. And he won't go to detention tomorrow. That was safe. Sirius took his wand with his clean hand and cleaned the other and his bed and trousers. He sighed, pulled up his trousers again and removed the charms. He pushed open the curtains and sprung up. Remus, James and Peter waited in the common room for him and together, they left for the next lesson.  
  
Four hours later, Sirius shoved potatoes to his plate and ate them. He was bored. Not even eating could change his mood. That was how Remus must feel.  
  
"Here.", Remus said and Sirius looked up.  
  
Remus held his chocolate to Sirius.  
  
"Eat it.", Remus ordered.  
  
"What? No. It's yours.", Sirius said.  
  
"Nonsense. You're obviously not feeling well and I hope this will help you so eat."  
  
Sirius sighed and took a bit of the chocolate. It was delicious - of course, it was Honeyduke's best chocolate and was expensive as hell, but Sirius loved to buy it for Remus because Remus got happy then and it helped him and Sirius loved to see Remus happy and Sirius loved Remus. Anyway, after dinner, they went upstairs to the Gryffindor tower, but Sirius stopped in front of the portrait.  
  
"What?", James asked.  
  
"I just need to clarify something. I'll catch up later.", Sirius answered and turned on his heel.  
  
"Sirius-", he heard Remus say, but was already out of earshot.  
  
He headed straight to McGonnagal's office and knocked.  
  
"Come in.", she said and Sirius opened the door slowly.  
  
"Am I disturbing?", he asked carefully.  
  
McGonnagal turned around and smiled.  
  
"Ah, Sirius. Not at all. Sit down.", she said.  
  
Sirius did as he was told and got a bit more nervous with every second he sat there.  
  
"What can I do for you?", the professor asked and sat down herself.  
  
"Well, Professor, you know... I can't go to detention tomorrow.", Sirius said.  
  
"Sirius, I thought we already talked about this. Detention is and remains detention. For everyone, no excuses."  
  
"Is it an excuse that I'd rather have three weeks detention than leaving Remus alone the day before full moon?", Sirius asked savagely.  
  
McGonnagal leaned back in her chair and seemed to be hardly thinking about what he just said.  
  
"Sirius, I-"  
  
"With all due respect, Professor. I'm not asking you to remove my detention, I'm only asking to change the day.", Sirius said.  
  
McGonnagal sighed.  
  
"You know what? Who cares? You come next week Thursday, no more changes.", she said.  
  
"Thank you, Professor.", Sirius smiled  
  
"And Sirius, stop calling me Professor. It's weird when you say it."  
  
"Thank you, Minnie. You're the best.", Sirius said, smiling, and stood up.  
  
"And tell James and Peter you couldn't convince me to change the date of all three detention, so they won't get angry.", McGonnagal addet and Sirius nodded.  
  
"Thank you. Goodnight, Minnie.", he said.  
  
"Goodnight, Sirius.", McGonnagal smiled and Sirius closed the door behind himself.  
  
He smiled satisfied and walked back to the Fat Lady. He named the password and quickly crawled inside. Only a few students were in the common room, the rest of the Marauders were already upstairs. Sirius found Lily in one corner talking to Marlene and Marlene smiled at him. He smiled back and walked up to the boys dormitories. He opened the door. James stuck his head out from the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste all over his lips. Peter had stopped talking to James and looked at Sirius. Remus looked up from his book and smiled.  
  
"Where have you been?", Peter asked.  
  
"Nothing important.", answered Sirius.  
  
James vanished back in the bathroom, Sirius heard him spit out and James came out.  
  
"Tell us where you have been.", he said and sat down on his own bed.  
  
"I'm not going to detention tomorrow.", Sirius answered shortly.  
  
Remus groaned and closed his book.  
  
"We already head this, Sirius. You have to.", he said and looked at Sirius with his big brown eyes.  
  
Sirius grinned.  
  
"No, I don't. I talked to McGonnagal and asked her if she could change the date, but she refused. I couldn't convince her to change all three detentions, so she changed only mine. I'm sorry, guys.", Sirius said.  
  
"It's okay.", James said.  
  
"It's not okay. Sirius, what were you thinking?", Remus asked.  
  
"Don't come with that. I know exactly what I was thinking.", Sirius said and he got a bit aggressive now.  
  
Why didn't Remus just be happy?  
  
"Then tell me. Come on, tell us what you thought about that.", Remus said.  
  
"Nope. I don't feel like it right now.", Sirius said and lay down.  
  
He switched off his lamp, so did the others.  
  
"Arse.", Remus said quietly and Sirius's insides rumbled.  
  
Remus never said something like that, but Sirius could somehow understand him. He felt betrayed because Sirius refused to tell him something. But Remus had to understand Sirius as well. He couldn't tell Remus he wasn't going because he was in love with Remus and doesn't want to leave him alone. Maybe Sirius was even a bit jealous because he didn't want to think about Remus meeting the person he was secretly in love with and probably tell them. Oh Merlin, this image in Sirius's head in just... Remus so close to a faceless person, leaning in... Sirius wanted to be the faceless person.  
  
And now, Sirius did something he never thought he would do. He stood up and sneaked over to Remus' bed.  
  
"Rem?", he whispered, "Moony?"  
  
"What?", Remus snapped.  
  
"I'm sorry.", Sirius whispered.  
  
In the dim light of the moon, he saw Remus looking at him.  
  
"I just can't think of you being alone the day before full moon. And I couldn't live with the thought I left you alone and I would feel guilty and I would have ro love with that feeling and I would die with that feeling and I'd rather die and know that I never let you alone.", Sirius said quietly.  
  
"What about James and Peter? You left them alone in detention.", Remus whispered back.  
  
"You're more important. Besides, they're together, you're alone."  
  
"I'm still mad at you.", Remus said, but Sirius saw Remus smiling.  
  
He had an idea and turned into a dog. Remus smiled even brighter and petted Sirius on the head.  
  
"Don't think this changes anything.", he said.  
  
Sirius barked and turned back.  
  
"How's your secret crush?", he asked.  
  
"As cute as ever. You would like them.", Remus whispered.  
  
Why couldn't he just tell Sirius that he was better than any secret crush and that he would forget thus crush for Sirius? No, he had to tell Sirius that thus bloody crush was cute. And not only cute, _as cute as ever_! What? Sirius would like to groan, but could hold it back.  
  
"Okay.", he said, "Goodnight."  
  
And moved back to his own bed.  
  
"Goodnight.", Remus whispered back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Detention**

When Remus woke up, he didn't only feel bad because tomorrow was full moon, he also felt bad because of Sirius. Yesterday, he seemed to have really hurt Sirius and Remus didn't do that with joy. It was just... Sirius concealed something and Remus didn't like it when Sirius had secrets. Okay, Remus had one secret as well, but that was different, right? There was no way he could tell Sirius how he felt.  
As Remus sat up, his whole body ached.  
  
"Morning.", Sirius said.  
  
Remus turned to look at him and smiled.  
  
"Chocolate?", Peter asked and held a piece in front of Remus' face.  
  
Remus thanked him and took some.  
  
"Good morning.", James sung and danced out of the bathroom.  
  
"You're in a good mood today.", Remus said.  
  
"Yep. Don't ask me why because I have no idea.", James answered and Peter laughed.  
  
Remus grabbed his wand and enchanted his toothbrush, so she brushed his teeth without his help. He sighed and looked into the mirror. He looked so helpless. Two big dark circles were under his eyes and his skin was very pale, mostly covered in scars. His toothbrush moved up and down and left and right and after some time, Remus took her and spit out. Even his favourite mint toothpaste tasted awful today. Remus hated these days where everything was just awful. Sirius came into the bathroom and caught Remus looking at his reflection.  
  
"You look great, Moony.", he said and smiled brightly.  
  
Remus smiled too and to hear these words from Sirius made his heart jump, even though he knew Sirius didn't mean it as Remus would have liked it. Sirius grabbed his mascara and flicked it open. His eyelashes immediately seemed to grow as he put it on and it made him look even more handsome. Sirius opened his eyeliner and looked at Remus.  
  
"Could you?", he asked and held the pen towards Remus.  
  
Sirius insisted on Remus painting his eyeliner, because he thought Remus had calm hands. Remus but hislip as he always did to concentrate and started the line of the eyeliner. After he finished both eyes, Sirius looked so good, Remus was surprised he didn't rip off Sirius's clothes and kissed him everywhere.  
  
"Let's get breakfast.", Peter said to Remus' relief and the four of them walked down into the Great Hall.  
  
Not many students were here already, but the staff table was crowded. The Marauders sat down on their house table and started eating.  
  
"Are you going to Madame Pomfrey, today?", Peter asked Remus.  
  
"I don't know.", Remus answered.  
  
To be honest, he didn't want to go because Madame Pomfrey smelled like dittany and it hurt Remus' brain to smell something that strong, so he tried to avoid the healer or the hospital wing at all.  
  
"How was Apparation yesterday?", Remus asked.  
  
"Gross.", James answered shortly and shoved around five marshmallows into his mouth.  
  
"You knoe you shouldn't take too much of them. Too much sugar.", Remus said, pointing at the marshmallows.  
  
"Lily is really good at Apparation.", James said and looked at the other end of the table, where the beautiful red-haired girl sat and talked to a few friends of hers.  
"She's good at everything.", James answered dreamy.  
  
"Apart from pissing in a urinal.", Sirius said shrugging.  
  
"Padfoot!", Remus laughed and slapped Sirius on the shoulder.  
  
Merlin, his shoulders were so muscular. Oh man. Sirius laughed. And goodness, his laugh was so hot.  
  
"Damn.", Remus said under his breath.  
  
"What?", Sirius asked oblivious.  
  
Remus looked up.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Nothing."  
  
"Anyways, Snivellus forgot a leg yesterday in Apparation and had to stumble back to it. Funny sight.", James laughed.  
  
Peter and Sirius laughed too and Remus smiled. They would never come off their hate for Severus. James would probably pass it to his children.  
  
After breakfast, they went to the greenhouses for herbology.  
  
"What are we going to do while the others are in detention?", Sirius whispered to Remus.  
  
"I don't know.", Remus whispered back.  
  
"Stop saying this like you don't know anything, even though you're the smartest person I know.", Sirius said and looked at the teacher, who hadn't notice Sirius and Remus talking.  
  
Remus smiled.

"So they are going after dinner?", he asked and Sirius nodded.  
  
"Yes. McGonnagal will wait for them after dinner.", Sirius answered.  
  
"Maybe I will take a nap before dinner.", Remus suggested.  
  
"Great idea. You need to rest.", Sirius smiled.  
  
Herbology took longer than Remus had wished. He wanted the evening to come and to spend time alone with Sirius. That thought kept him smiling almost the whole day. After Defence Against The Dark Arts, James catcalled after Lily.  
  
"Sod off, Potter.", she said.  
  
James laughed and walked after her.  
  
"So what are you doing next week?", he asked.  
  
"Something with... anyone else.", Lily answered.  
  
"What about-"  
  
"No.", Lily cut him off, "And now leave me alone."  
  
She pulled out her wand and hexed James.  
  
"Good one, Evans.", Sirius laughed.  
  
"Shut it.", Lily snapped and walked around a corner.  
  
Remus smiled and ran after her.  
  
"Lily.", he said.  
  
"What?", Lily snapped back, but as she turned around and saw it was only Remus, she smiled.

"Hey. Coming with me to the library?", she asked and Remus agreed.  
  
They made their way to the library.  
  
"Sorry for that.", Remus said.  
  
"Oh, you're so sweet. You don't need to apologise for that. You weren't the one who annoyed me or hexed James.", Lily said and smiled softly.  
  
"Yeah, about that... why?", Remus asked and laughed lightly.  
  
"I have absolutely no idea.", Lily answered, smiling.  
  
They reached the library and searched for a table. The one table Lily and Remus often sat on, was empty again, so they set off for it and sat down.  
  
"Are you someday planning to ask him out?", Remus asked, as he packed out his book.  
  
Lily smiled and took her quill.  
  
"Yeah. Someday."  
  
"Lily, I know you're really clever and that's the reason I say, it's the best time to ask him out _now_.", Remus sighed.  
  
"I know, Remus. I know.", Lily smiled and started writing.  
  
"Anyways, what about Apparation?", Remus asked and started writing as well.  
  
"Oh, it's really good. Missed you last time, but I know why.", Lily smiled, "Sirius is horrible at it. He could use some help."  
  
Lily laughed and turned back to her essay. Remus smiled to himself and continued writing his own essay for History of Magic. After a long time, he and Lily left the library with three new books each and set off for Gryffindor tower.  
  
Remus was more than exhausted and went upstairs straight away. Even before he reached the door to his room, he heard Sirius's high-pitched shrieking and James laughed. Remus smiled to himself and opened the door. Sirius stood on his bed and James stood in one next to his own bed and laughed his arse off. In the corner next to Sirius's bed was a big spider, that obviously made Sirius shriek like that. Remus laughed and waved his wand and the spider vanished.  
  
"Thanks, Moony.", Sirius said relieved and jumped down from his bed.  
  
He walked up to Remus and seemed to check his face for some sign if he was sad or moody or whatever.  
  
"Are you alright?", Sirius asked.  
  
Remus smiled. Sirius cared so much about him. Today, he asked Remus at least ten times if he was alright.  
  
"As always. Just a bit tired.", Remus answered.  
  
"Good. We'll let you sleep then.", Sirius said and turned around to Peter and James.  
  
"Out. Both of you. Let's go. Hurry, hurry.", Sirius said and shushed them outside.  
  
He smiled at Remus and closed the door behind him. Remus smiled too and lay down on his bed. He sighed exhausted and closed his eyes. After not one minute, he was fast asleep.  
  
Once Remus had opened his eyes again, James stood with a worried look next to his bed.  
  
"Hey, Moony.", James said, "How are you?"  
  
Remus smiled slightly.  
  
"Spectacular.", he said sarcastically.  
  
James chuckled.  
  
"Alright. Just shout if something's wrong.", he said.  
  
Remus looked around. The room was empty.  
  
"Um, where are Sirius and Peter?", Remus asked and walked to James into the bathroom.  
  
"Peter said he was about to starve so Sirius left with him to get dinner. I said I was waiting for you, since Sirius wanted to meet Marlene downstairs.", James told him.

The last words hit Remus like a lightning. What? Sirius wanted to meet Marlene? Oh hell. But why was Remus so surprised? Every girl in the castle somehow fancied Sirius and Sirius wasn't in love with Remus, so... Sirius thinks Remus is seeing someone else, anyways. And it's all Remus' fault. He didn't want to make Sirius think he's seeing someone else, he just wanted to find out what he could do about the problem that Sirius didn't like him back.  
  
"Here, take some chocolate.", James said.  
  
Remus smiled and took the chocolate, bit off and followed James downstairs. Everyone in the Great Hall was already eating, but with every step closer to the Gryffindor table, Remus noticed that not _everyone_ was eating and his own mood changed quickly. Sirius sat there with a bored look on his face, he poked with his fork into the meat on his plate and Marlene sat next to him and talked constantly against the invisible wall, Sirius had built around him. He didn't listen to her at all, he just yawned bored and rolled his eyes. As Remus was only a few steps away from the table, Sirius looked up and his expression changed immediately. He smiled brightly and looked at Marlene.  
  
"Hey, could you slide over there, so Remus can sit here?", Sirius asked her and her face was priceless.  
  
Her jaw dropped outraged and she narrowed her eyes, curled her lips and slid away from him. Sirius grinned at Remus and Remus laughed. He sat down next to Sirius and laughed even more.  
  
"Thank you.", Remus said and took some pumpkin juice.  
  
Sirius grinned satisfied and started eating his meat.  
  
"She wasn't even interesting.", he said and shrugged.  
  
Remus laughed and started eating himself.  
  
"Why did you want to meet her anyway?", Remus asked.  
  
Sirius swallowed his carotte.  
  
"She asked me. I didn't want to, but as you know, I'm a gentleman and so I said I'll go.", he answered.  
  
"Yeah. Sirius Black, the gentleman.", Remus laughed.  
  
"Sounds good.", Sirius said and laughed too.  
  
After dinner, their ways with Peter and James separated. Remus and Sirius walked up to Gryffindor tower and Peter and James made their way to McGonnagal's office. Once they sat down in the common room in front of the fire, Remus noticed that this was the moment he had been waiting for the whole day. Sitting here with Sirius, the warm common room fire burning Sirius's socks and Sirius laughing and asking Remus if he was alright and Remus was so bloody in love with this idiot, it really hurt.  
  
"What?", Sirius asked and pulled Remus out if his thoughts.  
  
Remus looked at him and blinked.  
  
"You smiled like an idiot.", Sirius laughed, "What were you thinking about,"  
  
"Oh, nothing.", Remus lied quickly.  
  
He was so close to telling Sirius what he really thought of, but he could stop himself. What was wrong with him these days? He could hold it back for two years now, why not a little longer?  
  
"Chocolate?", Sirius asked.  
  
Remus grinned and took it.  
  
"Thanks.", he mumbled, his mouth already full with delicious Honeyduke's chocolate.  
  
Sirius laughed and ruffled Remus' hair. Sirius stood up.  
  
"Where are you going?", Remus asked.  
  
"Just wait here.", Sirius answered snd vanished upstairs.  
  
Remus sighed. Of course, Sirius would leave him alone. But not long later, Sirius came back, James's invisibility cloak in his hand and an evil grin on his face.  
  
"Fancy a trip through he castle?", Sirius asked, grinning.  
  
"I don't know...", Remus said unsure.  
  
"You do know. Come on, Moony.", Sirius said and made big eyes.  
  
"Puppy eyes are unfair.", Remus said.  
  
"It's not.", Sirius smiled and made even bigger eyes.  
  
How could anyone in their right mind ever resist Sirius Black? Remus sighed and stood up. Sirius grinned and threw the cloak over them.  
  
"Where are we going?", Remus asked after they left tge portrait hole.  
  
"McGonnagal's office.", Sirius answered and grinned over his shoulder at Remus.  
  
"Sirius, no. James will know it was us.", Remus said.  
  
"He won't."  
  
Why did Sirius always have to be so positive? They walked up to the professor's office and opened the door. Sirius casually walked in and Remus stumbled after him. McGonnagal looked up.  
  
"Trying to escape, Mr Pettigrew?", she asked and looked at Peter, who sat next to the door.  
  
Peter shook his head and closed the door again.  
  
"Good. Sit down and stay there.", McGonnagal said sternly.  
  
Peter nodded slowly. Sirius and Remus walked over to James, who looked around the office and seemed to search for something, presumably Sirius and Remus under the cloak. Sirius chuckled silently.  
  
"Boo.", Remus whispered in James' ear.  
  
James jumped in his seat and shrieked loudly. Remus and Sirius held their hands in front of their mouths so they won't burst out laughing.  
  
"Mr Potter what are you doing?", McGonnagal asked as James stood up.  
  
He grabbed with his hands the air and tried to catch his cloak, in vain, because Sirius and Remus took a step backwards every time James took a step in their direction.  
  
"Mr Potter, sit down this instant!", the professor said sternly.  
  
"But- Sirius is here! I know it!", James said, turning to Professor McGonnagal.  
  
"No, I'm quite sure Sirius is with Mr Lupin.", she replied.  
  
"Then Remus is with him in here.", James said convinced.  
  
McGonnagal looked around the seemingly empty office and shook her head.  
  
"Mr Potter, will you sit down right now. I'm pretty sure Remus has something better and smarter to do than to watch you two having detention.", she said.  
  
James sat down, but was by no means finished with the discussion.  
  
"Minnie, I assure you, they are here. At least Sirius. Really, I know it.", he said.  
  
Peter scratched his head.  
  
"Why don't we look in the common room what they're doing?", he asked.  
  
"That's silly. What if they're in the library or somewhere else? I won't search the whole castle for them.", McGonnagal said.  
  
"Please. Just the common room and our dormitory.", James begged.  
  
The professor sighed and nodded slowly.  
  
"Alright. Get up. If they are there, you will sit in here for ten more minutes.", she said.  
  
James nodded and stood up. Peter, he and Professor McGonnagal walked out of the office and Sirius and Remus slipped past McGonnagal before she could close the door. She locked her and Sirius and Remus started to run. They had to grab the cloak tightly so it won't slip off. Remus' ribs felt numb as they reached the portrait hole. Sirius named the password and even though she saw no one, it was the Fat Lady's duty to open, so she did. Before McGonnagal and the others came around the corner, the portrait closed and Sirius and Remus threw off the cloak. They ran upstairs and Sirius threw the cloak back in James's trunk, where it had been before. Remus grabbed a random book from his bag and Sirius opened the Quidditch magazine that lay on his bed. A few seconds later, James stormed into the room. Remus tried hard not to breath too much and made a surprised face.  
  
"James?", he asked.  
  
Peter stuck his head over James' shoulder.  
  
"Wormy?", Sirius asked in the same surprised tone as Remus had.  
  
McGonnagal shoved both Peter and James aside and looked at Sirius and Remus.  
  
"Mr Lupin, Sirius, could you tell me what you've been doing the whole time?", she asked.  
  
"What? Professor, what are you doing here? I thought they were in detention.", Remus said.  
  
"Well, after lunch we came up here and Remus wanted to go to the library. I refused, but Remus dragged me down there.", Sirius invented a story.  
  
"And then I brought a few new books, this is one of them.", Remus continued and proudly held up the book he pretended to be reading.  
  
"After the horrible trip to this horrible place we sat in front of the fire in the common room until Remus wanted to read his new book.", Sirius said.  
  
"And then you came up here.", Remus finished and smiled innocently.  
  
McGonnagal nodded at him and turned to look at James.  
  
"Mr Potter, I think you are seeing ghosts. Maybe you should visit Madame Pomfrey. But first, detention.", she said, "Move."  
  
Professor McGonnagal waved James and Peter out of the room and closed the door behind them. Remus let out a relieved breath and Sirius laughed.  
  
"That was close.", Remus laughed.  
  
Almost half an hour later, James and Peter came back, this time without McGonnagal.  
  
"What was all this about?", Sirius asked.  
  
"Don't be so innocent!", James said and threw a pillow at Sirius, "I know you've been there. I'm not seeing ghosts!"  
  
Remus couldn't hold it back and laughed loudly. Sirius joined in.  
  
"Not funny, you idiots!", James said and threw a second pillow in Remus' face.  
  
Remus grabbed his own pillow and threw it at James. It quickly became a pillow war and the four of them laughed until they all got too tired to even stand and fell down into their beds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Full moon**

Sirius woke up and found Remus cuddled up in his arms. Yesterday night, Remus came over because he had a horrible headache and couldn't sleep. He was freezing, so Sirius hugged him. Remus was still asleep. Sirius smiled and pulled him a bit closer. Remus still fancied someone else, so it didn't matter to him, if he lay here in Sirius's bed or in his own. But it mattered to Sirius. Remus smelled like chocolate and honey and... He smelled as sweet as he was. Sirius could inhale this scent all day long.  
  
Remus twitched and Sirius froze. He didn't want Remus to wake up and leave. He wanted Remus to stay with him. But Remus didn't wake up. He moved uncomfortably and Sirius pulled his arms away. Remus had another bad dream. These fucking nightmares! Chase Remus till he's collapsing!  
  
"Moony. Hey. I'm here.", Sirius whispered, like every time when Remus had a nightmare.  
  
Remus didn't stop and looked troubled, his eyes still closed.  
  
"Hey. I'm here.", Sirius said softly, running his hand trough Remus' hair.  
  
It was so soft. But now was not the time for soft hair, he needed to comfort Remus.  
  
"Moony. Wake up.", he said, as Remus didn't stop moving.  
  
Sirius thought of kissing him, but Remus would definitely notice it. So he shook Remus gently and kept whispering his name, until Remus opened his eyes. They filled with water and he looked at Sirius.  
  
"I'm still here.", Sirius whispered.  
  
And he would never leave. Remus looked up at Sirius and smiled. He rubbed his eyes and yawned.  
  
"What time is it?", he asked.  
  
After checking his watch, Sirius and Remus realised that they were already missing breakfast.  
  
"James, that asshole! Why didn't he wake us?", Sirius asked, as he pulled his shirt over his head.  
  
"Don't know.", Remus said, "And please don't shout.", he added.  
  
Sirius nodded apologising and they walked downstairs. The common room was deserted, everyone was already in class. Remus and Sirius made their way to Transfiguration. As they opened the door, every student and Professor McGonnagal looked at them.  
  
"You are late.", she pointed out the obvious.  
  
"Yeah, sorry. I didn't feel too well and Sirius offered to stay upstairs with my till it got better.", Remus said and McGonnagal nodded understanding.  
  
"Good. Sit down.", she said shortly and continued with her lesson.  
  
"You idiot, why didn't you wake us? I'm starving!", Sirius hissed to James.  
  
"Because we know in what mood Moony is, when it's before full moon and he's woken up and we couldn't wake you without waking him too.", James explained.  
  
Sirius nodded wordlessly and pulled out his quill and book.  
  
"You're not coming to Apparation, do you?", Sirius whispered to Remus.  
  
"No, Sirius. I'm not.", Remus snapped back.  
  
Sirius was taken aback and looked shocked.  
  
"I'm sorry. Bad temper.", Remus apologized.  
  
Sirius nodded again and looked at McGonnagal. Her class was one of Sirius's favourite, but he couldn't resist making stupid things with James even in her lessons. He made little paper balls and shot them at James. James laughed and shot his own back. McGonnagal didn't notice anything, but Sirius noticed Remus getting really annoyed by it.  
  
"Would you please stop it?", he asked angrily and took all the paper balls from Sirius's table.  
  
"Hey, Moony!", Sirius said offended.  
  
"Don't give me that. You're annoying!", Remus snapped and turned back to look at McGonnagal.  
  
"Fun break.", Sirius said quietly to James, who rolled his eyes.  
  
"You know, I don't really like him the day of full moon.", James said.  
  
"I always like him.", Sirius said and smiled slightly.  
  
"Really? Even when he's such a boring git sometimes?", James asked.  
  
"Yep. He can't do anything for that. He didn't choose the moon to become full. I didn't choose to be born in a family like I was. We can't do anything for our fate.", Sirius answered.  
  
"Wow, Padfoot.", James said admiring, "That was actually really clever."  
  
"I am Sirius Black, psychologist.", Sirius said and grinned.  
  
James snorted.  
After their classes, they walked up to the common room. Sirius, James and Peter sat down, but Remus immediately got a headache because of the many people, the talking and the smell of everything, so he went upstairs.  
  
"Don't you think we should accompany him?", Sirius asked.  
  
To be honest, he wanted James and Peter to say if he wants to go, he should, but they didn't. They shook their heads.  
  
"No. Let him sleep.", Peter said and James nodded agreeing.  
  
Sirius sighed. He didn't want Remus to be alone. He wanted Remus to be with him. But Remus still liked someone else, what obviously wasn't Sirius.  
  
"I think I'll go.", Sirius decided and before James or Peter could disagree, he got up and walked upstairs.  
  
Sirius slowly opened the door and peeked in. Remus lay on his bed, his hands over his face and his eyes closed.  
  
"Hey.", Sirius said quietly.  
  
Remus took his hands away and looked at Sirius.  
  
"I'll just sit over there and read.", Sirius said and day down on his own bed.  
  
Remus nodded and lay his hands on his chest. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Sirius thought for a moment, Remus wanted to say something, but he didn't. He breathed out again and seemed to already be in the process of sleeping, so Sirius took his magazine and flipped open the page where he had stopped last time. Every few seconds, he looked over to Remus to check if he was okay, maybe he looked over there as well because Remus was so fucking beautiful... So when Sirius was one hundred percent sure that Remus was asleep, he lay away his magazine and looked out of tge window.  
  
Who could the person be, he was in love with? So Sirius would like her. Maybe Marlene? Remus didn't seem too happy so see Marlene with Sirius yesterday. It could be her. Sirius liked her and he knew Remus liked her as well. But Sirius had to think of a second option. Probably this cute blonde girl from Hufflepuff. She was really sweet and Sirius often pointed out that he would ask her out someday - if he wouldn't be in love with Remus of course. And he often saw Remus walking with her through he castle and he seemed really happy around her. But that doesn't mean anything. He was really happy with James, Peter and Sirius as well. Could it be even somehow possible that Remus was in love with Sirius? No. It definitely wasn't. They were friends. That's also what Sirius always told himself when he was  close to kissing Remus or touching him somehow. So no, Sirius was definitely not an option. Marlene and the girl from Hufflepuff were the only ones that came into Sirius's mind.  
  
Sirius sighed. Great, that really cheered him up. He looked back at Remus, who was still sleeping peacefully. How could someone be afraid of this cute fluffy boy? He was so sweet and innocent and - Oh god, Sirius was a hopeless case. He smiled and stood up, to walk back into the common room.  
  
"Hey. How is he?", James asked as he saw Sirius.  
  
"Asleep.", Sirius answered shortly and sat down next to them.  
  
"Prongs is watching Evans the whole time. I told him to stop. It's creepy.", Peter laughed.  
  
Sirius snorted and turned around to look at Lily, who sat at the table with Marlene and two other girls and talked. She didn't even look in James' direction, but Marlene saw Sirius and waved slightly. Sirius smiled.  
  
"Prongs, stop it.", Sirius said.  
  
James looked at Sirius and stuck out his tongue.  
  
"What do you know about her?", he asked.  
  
"She's not even looking at you.", Sirius answered and laughed.  
  
He looked back at Marlene and stood up.  
  
"Wait, what are you doing? Padfoot?", James asked, as Sirius walked over to their table.  
  
Sirius smiled at Marlene.  
  
"Hey.", he said to her, "Hey Evans."  
  
"What do you want, Sirius?", Lily asked annoyed.  
  
"Marlene, can I talk to you for a second?", Sirius asked, not really caring about Lily's warning expression.  
  
"Yeah, sure.", Marlene smiled and followed him outside of the common room.  
  
In front of the portrait, Sirius looked at her. Okay, how was he going to start this conversation. He didn't want to seem like a stalker and he definitely didn't want Marlene to think he was in love with _her_.  
  
"Um... So, I know it's none of my business, but I was wondering if you and Remus are in some kind of... relationship.", he said carefully and scratched the back if his head.  
  
"Me? And Remus?", Marlene asked and laughed, "No. Why should we? What? No! Remus is not at all my taste."  
  
Sirius breathed out. Why was he do relieved? It still could be anyone else.  
  
"Why are you asking?", Marlene asked suspiciously.  
  
"What? Oh, I was just wondering.", Sirius answered.  
  
Man, Marlene was smart. What if she found out that Sirius was in love with Remus? Sirius had to defend his love. He pulled on his most Sirius-Black-like-charmer-smile.  
  
"I was wondering if you're still free.", Sirius said and raised one perfect plucked eyebrow.  
  
Internally, he hoped that Marlene would say anything but yes. He hoped that she would say she fancied someone else, she was a lesbian, she was already in a relationship, he was not her type - okay that was unrealistic, Sirius was everyone's type... Anything but yes.  
  
"You know, Sirius... I really like you and we're friends.", Marlene said.  
  
Sirius's insides jumped happily. Friends are taboo to date. He knew that from his own experience.  
  
"And I can't make an exception. I'm sorry.", Marlene continued.  
  
Sirius almost couldn't hide his grin.  
  
"How can you say no to that?", he asked and pointed at himself.  
  
Marlene laughed.  
  
"Well, anyways. Me and Remus are not in a relationship. He's not my type.", she said.  
  
Sirius nodded and now, he just couldn't resist to grin, but turned away so Marlene wouldn't see it. She named the password and they walked back in. Marlene smiled at Sirius a last time and sat down next to Lily, Sirius sat down next to Peter.  
  
"What was that about?", Peter asked.  
  
"I just had to check something.", Sirius answered.  
  
"You always have to check something. What were you talking?", James asked.  
  
"I asked her if she's still free and she said we're just friends and to be honest, I'm so glad she said that.", Sirius told them and shrugged.  
  
"Wait, you actually asked Marlene McKinnon if she was still free and she turned you down? You, Sirius Black was turned down?", James asked and grinned.  
  
"Yep. No big deal.", Sirius said and smiled.  
  
Okay, but what was Sirius even so happy about? Just because Marlene didn't fancy Remus, it didn't mean Remus automatically fancied Sirius. And what if Marlene really was Remus' secret crush and she would turn him down, Remus would be destroyed. And Sirius would have known it all along and never said something to Remus. Suddenly, Sirius's happiness vanished. He was a horrible friend. But what if Marlene wasn't the secret crush? What if it was the Hufflepuff? What if it was anyone else? What if... so many _what if's_. Why didn't Sirius just ask Remus about the crush? Why was Sirius such a coward. He didn't dare to tell Remus about his own secret crush and he didn't dare to ask Remus about his secret crush. So, he didn't know more than he had before.  
  
"I'm so hungry.", Peter said, "Can we go?"  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Shall I wake him?", Sirius asked.  
  
James and Peter looked at each other with scared expressions.  
  
"Oh, don't be like that. I wake him, he won't do anything to me. And besides, he didn't have breakfast. That'll annoy him even more. He needs to be strengthened.", Sirius said and nodded convincing.  
  
Peter shrugged and James agreed, so Sirius walked back up to their dorm room. Remus sat on his bed and looked out if the window.  
  
"Hey, Moony.", Sirius said quietly and looked out of the window as well.  
  
The moon already peeked over the trees. Remus turned around and looked at Sirius.  
  
"How are you?", Sirius asked.  
  
"Fine.", Remus snapped.  
  
"Um... Okay. Do you want to come down and eat something or should I bring you something?", Sirius asked carefully.  
  
"Bring me something. I don't want to go down there and hear all these annoying people talk.", Remus answered.  
  
"Are you sure you're fine?", Sirius asked, even though he already knew that Remus was always in a bad mood when full moon came closer.  
  
"Yes.", Remus answered shortly and turned back to the window.  
  
"Okay. I'll bring you something.", Sirius said and slowly walked backwards to the door.  
  
"Yes, Sirius. You already said that.", Remus said fiercely, "Anything else?"  
  
Sirius didn't answer. He stared at Remus for a second and then left the room, closing the door behind him carefully. He leaned against the closed door and breathed out. Tears swelled into his eyes. He knew Remus didn't mean what he had said, but it still hurt Sirius. Remus never talked to him like that. Even before full moon, he only snapped at James or Peter or anyone else, very rarely at Sirius. Sirius pulled himself together and walked into the common room.  
  
"And?", Peter asked.  
  
"He's not coming. I'm bringing something to him later.", Sirius answered coldly, without looking at Peter or James and walked over to the portrait hole.  
  
They went downstairs, Sirius understood why Remus didn't want to go. The Great Hall was filled with students, tableware clinked loudly and people talked over each other. The light of tge candles that swept beneath the ceiling illuminated the whole Hall in some sick yellowish light. The staff table was filled with colorful dressed teacher. Professor McGonnagal wore a blue robe, Professor Slughorn a red and purple striped pullover.  
  
Sirius, Peter and James sat down near Lily and Marlene. Sirius didn't want to eat much. He ate one slice of bread and one sausage. He was just too scared of Remus. Not every full moon was the same - some were more rough, some were easier.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?", Peter asked and shoved another sausage into his mouth.  
  
James looked at Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine.", Sirius answered, "It's just... I don't know."  
  
"Is it because of Moony?", James asked quietly.  
  
"Yes. What if it's a rough one again?", Sirius asked, his voice sounded scared.  
  
"It won't. Believe me.", Peter replied and smiled.  
  
Sirius smiled too and ate another bread. After dinner, everyone went back to their common rooms. Sirius took some sandwiches, pumpkin juice and strawberries for Remus and brought them upstairs. Remus still sat on his bed like he did before and stared out of the window.  
  
"Moony." , Sirius said carefully, "I've brought your food."  
  
Remus turned around and Sirius saw tears streaming down his face.  
  
"I hate it, Padfoot. I hate it.", Remus cried.  
  
Sirius lay the food on his own bed and walked over to Remus. He sat down next to Remus and pulled his arm around his shoulders.  
  
"I know, Rem.", he said and pulled Remus closer.  
  
He was already very cold. Remus still looked out of the window and watched the moon rising.  
  
"You should eat something.", Sirius said.  
  
Remus nodded slowly and Sirius gave him one sandwich.  
  
"Thanks.", Remus said and his lips twitched slightly.  
  
His lips were very dry and he seemed to struggle with swallowing.  
  
"Okay?", Sirius asked.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Remus smiled and took another bite. After a while, the door slowly opened and James and Peter looked inside.  
  
"Everyone is asleep now.", Peter said, walking over to Remus' bed.  
  
He and James sat down on the other side of Remus and smiled sadly.  
  
"We should go.", James said.  
  
Remus nodded slowly and James and Sirius helped him up.  
  
"Get the cloak.", James told Peter and he nodded.  
  
He pulled the cloak out of James' trunk and three it over the four of them. They accompanied Remus downstairs and out of the portrait hole. Remus held a hand to his head and pulled a face.  
  
"What's wrong?", James asked.  
  
"Sirius smells like wet dog.", Remus answered and one corner of his mouth twitched upwards.  
  
Sirius chuckled.  
  
"It's always me.", he said and James and Peter smiled.  
  
"It's always been you.", Remus answered and smiled weakly.  
  
Sirius had a strange feeling as they walked down to the Whomping Willow and through the secret passageway. The moon was nearly risen and Remus got weaker with every minute. In the Shrieking Shack, they let go of him and he sunk to the floor. Sirius looked at Remus and Peter, who looked scared. They were all scared.  
  
Before the moon was completely in sight, James, Sirius and Peter transformed into their Animagus - James into the stag, Sirius into the dog and Peter into the rat. Full moon was risen and they had to watch Remus transform into a werewolf. Sirius barked loudly and Peter screetched scared. Remus howled and growled and scratched against the walls with his claws.  
  
But he was still recognizable to Sirius. He still was the cute, fluffy Moony, Sirius so loved. He still saw the little boy inside this wolf and he loved him. He loved the boy with and without the wolf. The wolf was part of Remus and Sirius loved Remus for staying strong and invincible.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: The confession**

****Compared to others, this full moon was an easy one. Remus had felt worse. As he woke up the next morning, Remus was cuddled up in a blanket and leaned against the wall. Sirius, James and Peter sat next to him, asleep. They would bring him to the hospital wing. Remus didn't want to go. He didn't feel like it today. So many times he begged to be brought up there so Madame Pomfrey could heal him, so many times he couldn't say anything at all and they just knew what to do. But today it was different, today, Remus wanted to stay here. He wasn't hurt too bad and professional healing was not necessary. He just wanted to lay here in this blanket and he wanted to cuddle with Sirius, but that was not possible because Sirius would leave with James and Peter, because they had classes and they would take notes for Remus. Remus didn't like it when James or Peter left, but he absolutely hated it when Sirius left.  
  
Peter woke up first. He made sure Remus wasn't cold or anything and woke James and Sirius. James woke up at once, Sirius just groaned snd rolled on the other side. Remus smiled. James asked Remus if he was okay and as soon as the sentence was spoken, Sirius sat up. He slid closer to Remus and checked if he really wasn't cold.  
  
"Are you sure?", Sirius asked for the thousandth time.  
  
"Padfoot, I am not cold.", Remus laughed.  
  
Sirius nodded and smiled.  
  
"Are you hungry? Should I... Prongs bring you something?", Sirius asked.  
  
"What? Why me?", James asked and laughed.  
  
"You don't think I'm going away now, do you?", Sirius replied.  
  
James shrugged.  
  
"No, I'm not hungry. Thanks.", Remus smiled, "Anyway, you have to go. You have classes."  
  
Sirius looked at James and Peter, who nodded.  
  
"I'm not going.", Sirius said carefully.  
  
Remus looked at him, then at James and Peter.  
  
"What?", Remus asked in disbelief.  
  
"Well, we have to go now, first lesson is starting.", Peter said and he and James were out of the room within ten seconds.  
  
Remus looked at Sirius. What was this idiot doing? Yes, Remus would love it when Sirius stayed, but he couldn't. He had to go to his classes, he couldn't miss them. That was- that was so Sirius! He lived by his own rules.  
  
"Sirius, what are you doing?", Remus asked.  
  
He would have stood up, but Sirius looked so hot when his grey eyes were looking down at Remus and his black curls were falling over his face. Remus just couldn't be angry at him.  
  
"I'm staying.", Sirius answered.  
  
"You are not staying! Sirius, you have to go to your classes!", Remus said.  
  
"And you have to go to the hospital wing.", Sirius replied.  
  
Remus couldn't disagree, but he won't lose an argument against Sirius.  
  
"But that's different.", he said.  
  
"It's not different, Moony!", Sirius said loudly, "Damn it, I love you!"  
  
Remus slid back against the wall. Sirius stared at him, shocked about what he had just said. Remus stood up slowly and took a step closer to Sirius.  
  
"You're not.", Remus said quietly, "You are mlt in love with me."  
  
"I am.", Sirius answered and his eyes filled with water.  
  
Remus' brain hurt, he got a horrible headache but that was not important now. Sirius was important. Always.  
  
"You're not.", Remus said.  
  
Sirius was playing a game with him, he knew it. Sirius could never be in love with Remus. No one could. And they were friends. Sirius knew that. That was the thing that keep Remus from telling Sirius. He couldn't.  
  
"I am, Moony. I love your smile. I love how you say my name. You're so beautiful, Remus.", Sirius said.  
  
Remus was close to tears.  
  
"I love you because of all that we've been through. I love the way how you make me laugh. I love how when we are in class, your eyes search mine and then you blush and look away. I love your ridiculous obsession with chocolate. I love everything on you, Moony, really everything. I love that you are so strong. I love every single scar of yours, even if you don't like them yourself. I love you, just being you. Because you are wonderful. With every mistakes. And I will always be here for you.", Sirius finished.  
  
Remus stood there and looked at Sirius, tears streaming down his face. Remus nodded and slowly closed the gap between himself and Sirius and pulled him into a kiss.  
  
Sirius tasted like cigarettes and mint, but it was wonderful. Sirius began fiercely kissing back, gaining control so he could stand them both up. Limbs knocked against the wall as they got to their feet, neither boy able to part from the other's mouth. Suddenly, Remus had Sirius pinned to that wall, one leg in between both of Sirius' and hands tangled in his hair.  
  
Moving with increased bravery, Remus closed his eyes and pulled Sirius's head closer to him, slowly forcing his tongue into the other boy's mouth. He could feel Sirius moaning and as Sirius's tongue met with his, the sensation was overbearing. Remus' body felt hot and shaky, as though his blood was moving ten times faster than normal and it felt bloody fantastic.  
  
Sirius and Remus continued to explore each other's mouths and their hands began to explore each other's bodies. Sirius rocked the front of his body into Remus and couldn't help but grin when he heard the other boy growl. Then, Remus' fingers scraped down Sirius' back in one slow, fiery motion, eliciting a load moan from the black-haired Marauder.  
  
Remus' heart was pounding fast. This was Sirius Black, he was kissing. Sirius. The boy he always dreamt of. It was... So unrealistic, but true. Remus could feel Sirius beneath his fingertips, his warm, soft skin. Sirius felt, tasted and smelled so good and Remus could never have enough of this.  
  
Sirius manoeuvred Remus to the old bed and fell, rather ungracefully on the cushions. Remus landed on top of him and suddenly they realized that their mouths weren't connected anymore. Remus was breathing heavily and Sirius smiled.  
  
"Moony...", Sirius said and was as much out of breath as Remus was.  
  
Their mouths were both open, one centimetre apart. Remus bent down and pressed his lips to Sirius's. But the kiss that came was nothing like the rough one from moments ago. Now Remus could feel passion as the kisses got slower and steadier with tiny breaks in between. Remus let his weight rest on top of Sirius's body, while Sirius decided to cup his friend's face with his hands as they kissed. Sweet sounds of pleasure escaped both of them, and Remus just knew his face was turning redder with every second. Every touch sent sparks through Remus and it felt like a miracle.  
  
"Moony?", Sirius asked, as they separated again.  
  
Remus closed his eyes for a second.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is this a yes?", Sirius asked unsure.  
  
Remus smiled and kissed Sirius again.  
  
"It is a yes, you idiot.", he answered.  
  
Sirius sat up, Remus in his lap and smiled.  
  
"You don't want to see Madame Pomfrey?", Sirius asked.  
  
Remus groaned annoyed and Sirius chuckled. Sirius's lap was actually really comfortable. Remus smiled and buried his head in Sirius's shoulder. Sirius stroked Remus' hair and Remus could feel him smiling too.  
  
"You know, you have to go to the hospital.", Sirius finally said.  
  
Remus looked up at him.  
  
"No, I don't.", he answered, "I want to stay here. With you. For ever."  
  
Sirius laughed.  
  
"I know, Moony. Me too."  
  
The hours strolled by, Sirius and Remus sat on the bed and talked and laughed and kissed and Remus never felt so alive.  
  
"This was the best full moon of all time.", he said.  
  
Sirius looked at Remus and his grey eyes flickered. He smiled and pressed a kiss to Remus' lips.  
  
"Have you always know you liked guys?", Sirius asked after a while.  
  
"No.", Remus answered, "It's only you."  
  
"It's always been you.", Sirius repeated Remus' words from the night before and Remus nodded.  
  
"Yep. Always you and only you."  
  
Sirius smiled.  
  
"I think I always tried to distract myself from the thought ofbeing in love with you, that's why I had all these girls, maybe because I wanted to convince myself that I only had fantasies or something. But none of the girls made me feel like you do. And then I realised thwt it was you, you were the one who made me feel like... I don't know. Like I'm on fire, but in a good way, you know? Since two years I think of how it would be if we would get together and I never dreamt of something like this. I dreamt I would confess my love to you on a green field and you would kiss me and tell me that you love me too, but this... this is so much better! Here in the Shack, you looking like you do and being like you are and kissing me like, man, where have you learnt kissing like that?"  
  
Remus laughed and shrugged. He pulled hisirius closer and kissed him. The kiss got quicker and hotter and Sirius pulled Remus' shirt over his head, revealing a scarred body. Remus shivered and Sirius looked at his scars.  
  
"Don't look at them.", Remus said.  
  
"Shut up, Remus.", Sirius answered.  
  
Remus knew when Sirius used his real name, something was wrong and in this case it was what Remus had said.  
  
"They are fucking cool!", Sirius said admiring and his eyes lighted.  
  
And Remus knew Sirius didn't just say it, he meant it. Remus could see in Sirius's eyes, that he really meant what he had said. Remus smiled.  
  
"Moony?", Sirius asked carefully.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Wh- What does your ideal guy look like?", Sirius asked and looked troubled.  
  
Remus smiled softly.  
  
"You know, Padfoot, it's not easy talking about my ideal guy _to_ my ideal guy.", he answered and Sirius's face lightened up.  
  
He kissed down Remus' neck and his chest. Remus moaned quietly and Sirius chuckled. Their lips met with bruising force, Sirius's tongue slipped through Remus' lips, as they brought themselves as close as possible, their chests' pushing against each other, hands roaming each other's bodies. Remus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, pulling their groins together.  
  
They both moaned as they felt their hardening lengths through the fabric of their pyjama pants. Sirius took hold of Remus' hips and slowly moved them together, creating greater friction. Remus grabbed the sides of Sirius's face, and roughly brought their lips back together, passion over taking him as all his senses were filled with the smell, and taste, of Sirius.  
  
Carefully, Sirius adjusted Remus in his lap, so their groins rubbed together perfectly, their chests and stomach pressed together. They both moaned louder as they felt each others erection pressing into their own, their breathing speed up and body heat engulfing them.  
  
Moving against each other, Sirius started to move their hips faster, picking up speed as Remus felt his climax approaching. Tongues entwining, bodies moving against each other, Remus cried out as they came together, Sirius groaning deeply against his mouth.  
  
They both breathed heavily as they felt waves of pleasure wash over them, but did not let go of each other, as they lay down on the bed. They lay there together for a long time, not speaking, merely continuing to look into each others eyes. Sirius stroked Remus' hair, his other arm placed protectively around his waist, as Remus snuggled against Sirius's chest.  
  
"I love you.", Remus whispered.  
  
Sirius looked up.  
  
"What?", he asked.  
  
Remus didn't dare to say anything at all.  
  
"Say it again.", Sirius said softly and kissed Remus.  
  
"I love you.", Remus repeated, smiling.  
  
He took off Sirius's shirt as well and kissed his bare chest. Sirius moaned and Remus smiled. Before Remus realised, what happened, the door slammed open and James stumbled in and immediately dropped the whole stuff to the floor.  
  
"What the fuck is going on?", he asked loudly and stormed back out, slamming the door behind himself.  
  
Remus looked at Sirius, whose face was a simple picture of shock.  
  
"Shit.", Sirius hissed and Remus stood up.  
  
Sirius stood up as well and they got dressed again.  
  
"Alright, I don't care.", Sirius said.  
  
" _What_?", Remus asked confused.  
  
"Do you care?", Sirius asked.  
  
"Um... I don't know. No! I don't. I love you, Padfoot and you know it."  
  
"And no matter what happens, I will love you too.", Sirius smiled.  
  
Remus nodded, pressed a kiss to Sirius's lips, grabbed James' stuff and they hurried out of the Shrieking Shack. James already reached the Entrance Hall and Sirius and Remus follows followed him quickly.  
  
"James!", Remus shouted as they as they reached a deserted corridor, but James didn't stop.  
  
"James Potter!", Sirius shouted loudly, in vain.  
  
James hurried along the corridor.  
  
"Can you run?", Sirius asked Remus, who nodded unsure.  
  
They broke into a run and caught James just before the portrait.  
  
"Stop!", Sirius said sternly to James.  
  
Remus breathed heavily and his chest hurt.  
  
"Are you okay?", Sirius asked and Remus nodded.  
  
"What is happening?", James asked.  
  
"James. Please, let us explain.", Sirius said.  
  
"No, let _me_ explain. Everyone knows what comes out when Sirius is trying to explain something.", Remus replied.  
  
James nodded.  
  
"Alright. Fine. Moony explain it. And explain it to Peter too.", he said.  
  
Sirius and Remus agreed and they walked inside. James grabbed Peter by the sleeve and dragged him upstairs.  
  
"We need to talk.", James said and sat down on his bed.  
  
"What? What about?", Peter asked confused and sat down next to James.  
  
"Them.", James answered shortly and pointed at Sirius and Remus, who sat on Sirius's bed and held hands.  
  
Peter's lowered his gaze and he saw their entwined fingers and his jaw dropped. James laughed.  
  
"Yeah, exactly.", he said, "Now explain."  
  
Remus took a deep breath and streets to explain how he was in love with Sirius for two years and Sirius was in love with him. And how they talked this morning snd his it came to their kiss and how they landed in bed. James and Peter listened and Sirius smiled nervously as Remus had finished with the words:  
"And I don't care. I love him."  
  
James sighed and Peter looked more confused than ever before.  
  
"What? So you want to tell us you... Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are now together?", he asked, looking between Remus and Sirius.  
  
"Um...", Remus looked at Sirius, unsure.  
  
Sirius smiled.  
  
"Yes. We are.", he answered.  
  
Remus smiled proudly.  
  
"Okay...", James said slowly, "Okay. You are together."  
  
He sounded more like convincing himself, than anyone else. Sirius nodded. Peter didn't say anything. He was pale and seemed so helpless.  
  
"Wormy?", Sirius asked and snapped his fingers.  
  
Peter looked up.  
  
"Well, me personally don't have a problem.", he said and looked at James.  
  
"I-", James sighed, "I don't have a problem either. Be happy."  
  
Remus smiled and a stone fell from his heart. He was so relieved to have friends like this.  
  
"You know, Prongsie, you don't have to be sad. I would sleep with you too... once.", Sirius said.  
  
"What?", Remus asked.  
  
"Hey, Moony. I go out with you and meanwhile I would sleep with James once.", Sirius said.  
  
" _Meanwhile_?", Remus asked.  
  
Sirius laughed and kissed Remus.  
  
"Gross.", James said, "Come on, Peter, we'll leave them alone."  
  
Peter chuckled and they keft the room.  
  
"Idiot!", Sirius shouted after James and heard him laugh, before the door closed.  
  
Remus looked at Sirius and smiled. Sirius smiled too and bent forward to kiss Remus.  
  
"I love you.", Sirius whispered.  
  
"I love you too.", Remus whispered back.


End file.
